Full Moon

Today, the chilruns was crazy. While I don't usually like chain emails or forwards, this one was pretty good. Especially because I knew that today was a full moon before looking it up to confirm my hunch.

Jeff Foxworthy on School Employees

1. YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

2. YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.

3. YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered.

4. YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if it going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside.

5. YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool' should have its own box on a report card.

6. YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.'

7. YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

8. YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between August and June.

9. YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

10.. YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

11.. YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'

12. YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the U-HAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district.

13. YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

14. YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.

15. YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

16. YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a root canal over a parent conference.

17. YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!

18. YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt for this?' have ever come out of your mouth.

19. YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and seconds are left in the school year!

Is that comfortable?

I have been eagerly awaiting President Obama's speech tonight. Because I am not particularly good at managing money (like to shop too much...), I have been freaking out about this economy business. I'm watching now, and hope that I am beginning to understand how this plan will actually help.

However, I can't help but be distracted by the constant clapping and standing ovations. Isn't it a bit tiring to stand up/sit down/stand up/sit down/stand up/sit down? Sadly, these are the things that distract me from understanding economics....

Faboulous surprise!

Back in November, I wrote a post about a student stealing my iPod. I was not a happy camper (to say the least), but managed to get it back from this student the next day, which was nice. The student who stole it from me was a student I had become very close to. He needed a lot of help with a lot of things--I can't imagine living through some of the things he has survived. On the last day before Thanksgiving break, we had a heart-to-heart about how disappointed I was that he would steal from me, of all people. Then I had the school police officer talk to him about how serious this could have been. (I think I may have previously written another post about this student--he's the one who requested to stay in my class instead of move to an "easier" group of teachers.)

That was the last day he came to school in Nashville. He ended up going home to Louisiana, and decided not to come back here. I talked to his grandmother several times right after this, just figuring out whether or not he would be back. In the end, I gave her my school phone number and told her to have him call me and let me know how he was doing. I doubted that I would ever hear from him again, but I truly did want to hear how he was.

Well, after three months, he called my classroom on Thursday! I was teaching a class and picked up the phone simply because I thought it was another teacher asking a question or something. But, no. It was him! He said that he is living with his mom in Louisiana and they put him back in the 4th grade (he turns 13 on Tuesday). He promised me that he was keeping out of trouble, and informed me that he is planning to come back to Nashville this summer and stay here for the next school year. I told him to stay out of trouble, and that I hoped to see him back at our school next year.

It was so wonderful to hear from him and know that he thought to call and let me know how he was doing--that's a HUGE step for this kid!!

Concern

These last few days have been positively wonderful weather-wise. That's alllll about to hit the fan tomorrow. They are calling for severe weather in the middle of the day. In case you don't know, there are two things that can send me into somewhat severe panic attacks: cockroaches and tornadoes. I have managed to learn how to contain my panic when there are roaches in my classroom. It took a while, but I just make some kid pick up the foul insect. Now, I can see one and only mildly freak out. The standing on tables while crying and rubbing my palms raw is DONE (at least when there's someone around to kill the creature).

Tomorrow, I may not be so lucky. Within a week of beginning my job at this school, I contemplated how the hallways would turn into giant wind tunnels if the windows were to blow out. Hopefully tomorrow that won't happen. Having a panic attack in front of 6th graders would be hella embarrassing.

Pitchers and catchers: 4 days
Opening Night: 54 days

Seriously, dude?

This morning during church, the guy next to me texted throughout the entire service. I realize that we are Unitarian, so it's not exactly considered "the house of God" (which brings up the question--how would the Big Guy feel about texting during the prayer?). But I go there to relax and listen to the sermons and the stories and the music. You can hear while texting, yes. But you can't listen while texting.

Why did this guy even waste his time? All he did was stress me out during an otherwise delightful service.


Pitchers and Catchers: 6 days
Opening Night: 56 days

Google YOURself

I'm not sure the last time I Googled myself, but it has obviously been a while. It's a good time. It was nice to find out that I have mastered some form of karate, written a book about self defense for women, done some sweet research on malaria, and had a baby in December of last year (according to the registry). Anybody know how to block people from having your name?

Excess

A girl's gotta have dreams. Though I've never considered myself a materialistic person, there are some things that I want. Really, really bad. One of these things I'm determined to own before I die are a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. I love shoes alot, but I find even these to be a bit excessive (hence why I don't own a pair--not to mention they cost more than I pay in rent). The ones I have pictured here will set you back $795. But aren't they hot?


On another note of excess, I just got back from grocery shopping. The woman put every item I purchased in a separate bag. Only the pork and bacon were allowed to share a bag.

It occurred to me to let her know that the strawberries would be perfectly happy sharing a bag with the oranges. And to let her know that each of the bags she was giving me would never fully break down into their original organic state.

I decided against bringing up both of these things. Not only would she likely think I'm crazy, but also she would likely not understand what I'm saying. It's okay because I will recycle them. But I can pretty much guarantee the people in front of and behind me in line (who received more bags that I did) will not. Bummer.

Also,
Pitchers and Catchers: 13 days
Opening Day: 65 days